Gigathron

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I would like to describe to you the achievement I've made with this, and why this is. This is a lot of overthinking, by the way.

Any depiction of myself is ridiculously important to me. It doesn't matter if it's for MLP or Pokemon or my own original projects. I work hard to ensure I get the best depiction possible. Sometimes I focus too much on the negative and uglify things more than I should, so I have to try to balance that out with positive. But at the same time, I don't want to merely show in a 'sona what I want to be, but who I am. I'd honestly rather she have red eyes or some more interesting color rather than brown, and I was truly tempted to go through with it. My streak lately has been on stylizing and prettifying the bumps in my appearance. (Mostly my hair, which has gradually gotten less curly in my depiction and now depicts me with bangs I don't actually have in real life and would likely find a pain in the ass) Not just because I dislike them, but because it's sometimes necessary for my sanity in creating the art. Simplifying things like hairstyle to make it easier to draw is just as much of a concern. Not only that, but I don't want to prefer the appearance of any other character and come to prefer the too much to represent me. I tend to be extremely fickle in that regard. Something has to be pretty enough to represent me as well, and I won't accept things bellow a certain very unpredictable level of aesthetics.

So a balance must be achieved. Between depicting myself as I am physically, and depicting beauty that is easier for me to draw and something I want to attach myself to. One thing I'll probably never try to go as far as is to remove the color of my hair and eyes. These traits are recognizable, and whilst I think they're so plain and ordinary, they stand out in a sea of people trying to be special with crazy colors. Also, it matches the color scheme a lot better.

Why a Diamond Dog anyway though?

At first, I tried redrawing yet another redesign of my ponysona. I liked it at first, but then... something felt wrong. I've drawn so many ponies over the years and it just seemed... like even though I think ponies are really pretty, my appearance could not be applied to one properly to both appeal to my beauty and be semi-accurate. I struggled with a lot of thoughts of color schemes, accessories, and most of all, hair-style. Whilst I like ponies in accessories, they honestly look better with very few. However, distinguishing me requires several accessories that are red, as I was not willing to make the main body red so as not to kill my eyes.

So I went somewhere completely different. I thought about other species in Equestria that might fit me, and this was the best I could get to. A bit flimsy due to the fact that they've only been depicted in one episode as a bunch of Diamond-stealing rogues and ruffians, but the concept was sound enough. A canine-like creature with gigantic pawlike hands and a penchant for the crystalline and jewels. I have identified with canines a lot over the years and haven't quite shaken that yet, and also think they're more fitting than an equine (even an extremely stylized cartoon equine) after doing some re-thinking.  And I have a penchant and flare for crystals and gems. Also, the large hands fit me as I am very VERY hand-oriented, and I could not imagine life with the hooves of a pony, to be honest. I love being a biped with hands. It seems like unicorn magic just wouldn't be the same as the sensation and fine control of a pen in my hand to do my art.

Also, Diamond Dogs wear clothes and accessories by default. Also very fitting.

Of course, I had to do some... guesswork and modification to make a Diamond Dog fit my specifications of beauty whilst keeping the design looking like it would reasonably be fitting of a female. In case you're unsatisfied with that though, she comes from a different clan of dogs than the Diamond Dogs, so some differences in their appearances make sense. (More on that later, as I said.)

And the design is symbolic of how I feel in the brony community. Just kind of like I'm a part of it, but I'm still pretty damn different from a lot of others I see. I'm not a pony at heart, and I don't feel like I'm a huge fan of the show, but I'm still here, making this art, and caring about what's going on in the community and show. The ponies keep drawing me back in, even though I'm essentially a different species, and I guess that's because there's just something about them I can't resist. It's perfect.

Overall, I have unintentionally hit a cord with this design. A very strongly resonating cord. Unlike any ponsona I've ever had or even the Valstaens I've tried to design, something about this feels... correct. It feels right.

I hit all the right marks and created something that will be easy to redraw whilst still appealing to me immensely.  I think part of the reason is because this style and this particular design reminds me of one of my most played and cherished games, Final Fantasy IX. It fits its aesthetic very well.

Honestly, I'm contemplating switching my default style to a more chibi-ish style or something similar to my MLP style except with shading. I think part of the reason it resonates with me so much is because this wasn't even that hard to draw, and other than many distractions along the way, it didn't take long to complete on its own. It flowed naturally, something that hasn't happened with my attempts at my "real" art style in a while. I guess I should just consider MLP my default style. Just kind of give it up, and let it happen. I enjoy drawing in MLP-style. It's immensely appealing, and whilst it sometimes takes me a long time to imitate vector quality lines (if I get too obsessed, like I do sometimes), the way it looks is just not only really good, but it's... something I can manage without wanting to tear my head off. I think I'll stick with this. And I'll probably base my Valstaen heavily on this design. I already had a design for her before, but it's probably going to be changed now that I've let this happen.

This piece is just so beautiful to me. Not because it has the biggest amount of effort, or my best anatomy, or even my most dynamic pose. But because of how it resonates with me. I look at it, and that feels just like me. And that is not something I've managed to achieve in a long time, and not ever to quite this intensity. I can't explain it. It it just my best work because out of all my works, this one comes from my heart, and this one says what's in my heart because it wasn't a slog or a huge effort. This flowed from my fingertips so effortlessly and wasn't something I constantly revised, but something that I drew on the first try, fixed up a bit, and then went straight to coloring. That is very rare for my depictions of myself. All that sounds stupid, I realize. It doesn't have to make sense to you. All that matters is that it is, and I'm happy about that.